Exit Strategies For Your Sex-Positive Business… Do You Have One?
Do you know how you would transition your business? Advice from Reid Mihalko from http://www.ReidAboutSex.com and http://SexGeekSummerCamp.com and Cathy Vartuli from http://www.TheIntimacyDojo.com.
Cathy: Do you have exit strategies for your business?
Reid: How do you escape!?
Cathy: Is that what you’re trying to do?
Cathy: It kind of looks like you might be having-
Reid: I’m like in a straight jacket. My business is a straight jacket! How do I escape!?
Cathy: This is the reason why [inaudible 00:00:17] read about sex.com and sex at summer camp.
Reid: When I wear my sex geek summer camp shirt, we’re talking about the business of being a sex educator so … But the relationship advice inside of how you run a business could apply to you, in your relationships. This is Cathy Vartuli from theintimacydojo.com
Cathy: Exit strategies … One of the concepts when I first started following your relations, like on your relationship advice, I was like, “Oh my god, this is brilliant.” We suggest that people who are in relationships, while things are going good, figure out how they would break up and what they would go through, in order to have a clean break up, and then be sure that it was the right thing for them. We’ve applied it for your business, our business together and I’ve applied it with some other businesses, including a little business I have with Rick Wilkes at http://thrivingnow.com, and it’s a really powerful concept. It can evolve over time. Mine has evolved with you and it’s evolved with Rick.
As the business got more closely intertwined and there was more investment in time and energy, I went from having … We’d have a weekend discussion. We’d have 2 or 3 days of discussion and we’d meet once. To now, my agreements are it’s three weeks. So if one of us said, “Hey, I think this isn’t working. I think we should talk about exiting.”, that we’d have a three week time period where we’d meet three times and we’d have a weekend together, in person, and get mediation if we felt that was useful, to try to work out any bugs and make sure it’s not just like, “I’m really pissed off. I’ve had a bad day and I’m just gonna lash out at anybody who’s near me.”, and that’s really reassured me. I was someone, who every time we had an argument or a disagreement, was kind of like, “This might be the end.”, and knowing that someone would actually have to say, “I think we should exit.”, let me be much more present in our discussions and much more self expressed. Not feeling like I had to hold back to preserve the relationship, which is not a very healthy way to be.
Reid: No, and this is a, it’s a … I get a lot of flack sometimes because people are like, “Why should we be having the break up conversation”-
Cathy: Yeah. “When thing’s are going great.”
Reid: “when thing’s are going great.”, doesn’t that mean that we’re both not committed to the relationship? I use the transition conversation and the break up conversation as an assessment tool, because you’re looking to find out, and this is why you’re doing this before you get into the relationship or before you start a business relationship or decide to co-teach a retreat together-
Cathy: It’s not too late if you haven’t-
Reid: Yeah, you didn’t do anything wrong because you can start having this conversation now. The idea is, while I’m having the conversation I’m learning a lot about if this person knows what they need to feel respected, if we want to end or transition or shift our working relationship. If the person that you’re considering doing business with or starting a relationship with, is like, “Well we don’t need to have this conversation because”-
Cathy: “We’re fine.”
Reid: “You’re amazing, I’m amazing.”
Cathy: “We’re going to love each other for ever.”
Reid: “We’re going to work together forever, aren’t we?”
Cathy: Ooh, that’s a good-
Reid: And then you’re like, “Okay.” That tells you a lot.
Cathy: They might be boiled bunnies in the kitchen.